This Is Bad For Us

by Chill Murray

supported by
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price




Recorded from April to July 2013. Recorded with one bass, one acoustic guitar, one laptop, two amps, one Tascam Dr 140 Field Recorder.


released August 12, 2013



all rights reserved


Chill Murray Fullerton, California

bedrooms. beer. porn. forever.

contact / help

Contact Chill Murray

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: bedrooms
sitting in my bedroom
thinking of a song to write
coffee in my lungs, smoke in my thighs
noise in my shoes, gloom around my head
lugnuts in my boots, succubus in my bed

sitting in bedrooms wishing i was somewhere else instead
cant get out of my own head

sitting in my room, listen to another record
black metal jazz, slink like a leopard
gotta sit gotta sit and write, finish it all before i die
before my veins run dry

rain echoes on my bedroom wall
i'm trying to think of nothing at all
mind is numb, limbs atrophy
head is noise my head lacks peace
Track Name: fake flowers
impossible attraction
unbeatable distraction
the wrong letters in your name
you are no ones to claim

all her hair falls short
above her should where it's warm
her clothes hang off just so
gliding on her faded glow

and it was just so painful
and it lasted as long as it willed
i've gone numb from the thrill

i can't love and i can't see
lips and eyes dance in front of me
slender face skin locked smile
i hear her broken poetry all the time

fake flowers ripping through you're fucking skull
overgrown you're unbelievable
there is nothing in you but weeds and dead things
i'm gonna rip you apart and put you inside of me
Track Name: i am so sick of people
space, a gulf never to be crossed
and time drags on
eternal itch of the mind
walking through the quad
seeing people happy it's so odd

look around see people having fun
i am sad because i can't be one
i don't care about anything anymore
my soul is so sore

stars live and blink without end
they'll outlive us all
gods without faces, people on a rock
when we end nothing else stops

stone truth of flame and stark wind
if it all has to end then why
does it even begin?
Track Name: winter
wasted again
and it ain't even summer
easy enough to tell
all the girls are so cold
welcome back into the fold
fasten your scarf
the nights are getting long
and the colds in my bones
but i can't tell whats wrong

whiskey fucked
the liquor keeps me strong
keeps the snow from my soul
chasing some skirt
i didn't mean to hurt
can't help that i just wanna fuck
i just need to fill the hole in my gut

listen to hardcore all day
burning through college books
just sit and mope and pray
can't shake my ugly looks

winter is coming and
all these bitches getting coal
we're all fuck ups and failures
and we all feel so old
Track Name: ghost lady
today i saw a ghost
of someone who didn't exist
she blew me a kiss
something i really missed

today i saw a ghost
she's set on haunting me
won't let me be free
she watches through the trees

i'm being followed by a ghost
dark dark skin
and slender legs
i want to take her to bed
but i'll never get my way

the little tease so ghostly hot
i'm in love and it's all i got
i'm in love with a ghost
and she don't love me back
Track Name: this is bad for us part one
watching the trees bend under the wind
and the room is dark
too hot to leave, too hot to stay
but i've not where to go
what's it matter anyway

the cycle repeats itself, day in day out
it would be easily broken
you could change it if you cared
but care you do not
i know this is bad for me but i just can't stop
Track Name: this is bad for us part two
no one likes a hermit
who hates all his friends
no one likes an alcoholic
frustrated dead end
no one likes the bitter
that they taste in me
no one likes the pale
that colors my apathy
no one likes that i
can't have fun without a beer or six
no one likes the introvert
without party tricks
no one likes the whiny
suburbanite fuck-face
who has born way
ahead of the race
no one likes a shitty musician
bob dylan copy-cat
or an edgy hipster
whose music sounds like crap
no one likes the hack poet
all empty imagery
glass eyed words and
try hard faggotry

you spend all your days wasting and wasted
waiting in want, in serious serious want
the weight of apathy nails you to bedsheets of filth
and the only view you afford is the past your window sill
and the gray-dark ceiling

can't lift up your head
though you might if you tried
couldn't dare jump
though the ground is soft
couldn't touch her
couldn't be with them
but you could, you could
if you'd just lift your head

if you really wanted to you could
but you tell yourself that don't want to
i think you should stop complaining
Track Name: chimes
i found you
little girl little girl
making noises in my coffee cup
chirping up at me
eyes all aglow

i saw you
little girl little girl
clinging to yourself trembling
hold my hand if you want
it's what it's there for

i imagined writing this song with you
but that isn't gonna happen
we'd hum a neat melody
at the college quad at night
playing along with the bell chimes

i see you in the grass beside me
fiddling with your sleeves
look at me, please
do your eyes chime for mine?

would you sit with me
would you write a song with me
you could play your violin
and i think it'd be nice
to just play along with the bell chimes
Track Name: a new hope
late night again can't sleep
demons beside my bed
bodies in bags promises to keep
just been fighting off the dead

nothing i can do
except to think of you
with the things that have passed
don't think i will last

beelzebub at the foot of my bed
waving around a flaming sword
don't make eye contact don't believe
just distract yourself with porn

thats not working, usually does
can't wrap my head around that fact
some say it's mind over matter
well i was never too good at that

i'm just happy to be sad
things aren't ever all that bad
think i'll visit an old friend
tonight can't be the end

it's so weird, years have passed
it's not really the same anymore
not that i knew you back then
but i'm curious to see whats in store

i call you old friend but i
never even knew your name
you've grown up so much
glad to see you haven't gotten to lame

i really missed you
the crazy shit you do
it feels weird to say
you make my bad thoughts go away

my queen! i've found a new hope
used to do drugs but now i just do you
still weird, so awkward to feel
i'm just a loner in a dark bedroom

she was a lover she was a friend
anything i would ever need
so it's odd now to see her so different
it might as well have been make believe

you really have changed
though i didn't expect to stay the same
found you again and i'm still glad
you know i'll keep coming back