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This Is Bad For Us

by Chill Murray

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1.
bedrooms 03:20
sitting in my bedroom thinking of a song to write coffee in my lungs, smoke in my thighs noise in my shoes, gloom around my head lugnuts in my boots, succubus in my bed sitting in bedrooms wishing i was somewhere else instead cant get out of my own head sitting in my room, listen to another record black metal jazz, slink like a leopard gotta sit gotta sit and write, finish it all before i die before my veins run dry rain echoes on my bedroom wall i'm trying to think of nothing at all mind is numb, limbs atrophy head is noise my head lacks peace
2.
fake flowers 02:32
impossible attraction unbeatable distraction the wrong letters in your name you are no ones to claim all her hair falls short above her should where it's warm her clothes hang off just so gliding on her faded glow and it was just so painful and it lasted as long as it willed i've gone numb from the thrill i can't love and i can't see lips and eyes dance in front of me slender face skin locked smile i hear her broken poetry all the time fake flowers ripping through you're fucking skull overgrown you're unbelievable there is nothing in you but weeds and dead things i'm gonna rip you apart and put you inside of me
3.
space, a gulf never to be crossed and time drags on eternal itch of the mind walking through the quad seeing people happy it's so odd look around see people having fun i am sad because i can't be one i don't care about anything anymore my soul is so sore stars live and blink without end they'll outlive us all gods without faces, people on a rock when we end nothing else stops stone truth of flame and stark wind if it all has to end then why does it even begin?
4.
5.
winter 02:02
wasted again and it ain't even summer easy enough to tell all the girls are so cold welcome back into the fold fasten your scarf the nights are getting long and the colds in my bones but i can't tell whats wrong whiskey fucked the liquor keeps me strong keeps the snow from my soul chasing some skirt i didn't mean to hurt can't help that i just wanna fuck i just need to fill the hole in my gut listen to hardcore all day burning through college books just sit and mope and pray can't shake my ugly looks winter is coming and all these bitches getting coal we're all fuck ups and failures and we all feel so old
6.
ghost lady 02:38
today i saw a ghost of someone who didn't exist she blew me a kiss something i really missed today i saw a ghost she's set on haunting me won't let me be free she watches through the trees i'm being followed by a ghost dark dark skin and slender legs i want to take her to bed but i'll never get my way the little tease so ghostly hot i'm in love and it's all i got i'm in love with a ghost and she don't love me back
7.
watching the trees bend under the wind and the room is dark too hot to leave, too hot to stay but i've not where to go what's it matter anyway the cycle repeats itself, day in day out it would be easily broken you could change it if you cared but care you do not i know this is bad for me but i just can't stop
8.
no one likes a hermit who hates all his friends no one likes an alcoholic frustrated dead end no one likes the bitter that they taste in me no one likes the pale that colors my apathy no one likes that i can't have fun without a beer or six no one likes the introvert without party tricks no one likes the whiny suburbanite fuck-face who has born way ahead of the race no one likes a shitty musician bob dylan copy-cat or an edgy hipster whose music sounds like crap no one likes the hack poet all empty imagery glass eyed words and try hard faggotry you spend all your days wasting and wasted waiting in want, in serious serious want the weight of apathy nails you to bedsheets of filth and the only view you afford is the past your window sill and the gray-dark ceiling can't lift up your head though you might if you tried couldn't dare jump though the ground is soft couldn't touch her couldn't be with them but you could, you could if you'd just lift your head if you really wanted to you could but you tell yourself that don't want to i think you should stop complaining
9.
10.
chimes 02:21
i found you little girl little girl making noises in my coffee cup chirping up at me eyes all aglow i saw you little girl little girl clinging to yourself trembling hold my hand if you want it's what it's there for i imagined writing this song with you but that isn't gonna happen we'd hum a neat melody at the college quad at night playing along with the bell chimes i see you in the grass beside me fiddling with your sleeves look at me, please do your eyes chime for mine? honestly, would you sit with me would you write a song with me you could play your violin and i think it'd be nice to just play along with the bell chimes
11.
12.
a new hope 03:26
late night again can't sleep demons beside my bed bodies in bags promises to keep just been fighting off the dead nothing i can do except to think of you with the things that have passed don't think i will last beelzebub at the foot of my bed waving around a flaming sword don't make eye contact don't believe just distract yourself with porn thats not working, usually does can't wrap my head around that fact some say it's mind over matter well i was never too good at that i'm just happy to be sad things aren't ever all that bad think i'll visit an old friend tonight can't be the end it's so weird, years have passed it's not really the same anymore not that i knew you back then but i'm curious to see whats in store i call you old friend but i never even knew your name you've grown up so much glad to see you haven't gotten to lame i really missed you the crazy shit you do it feels weird to say you make my bad thoughts go away my queen! i've found a new hope used to do drugs but now i just do you still weird, so awkward to feel i'm just a loner in a dark bedroom she was a lover she was a friend anything i would ever need so it's odd now to see her so different it might as well have been make believe you really have changed though i didn't expect to stay the same found you again and i'm still glad you know i'll keep coming back

about

Recorded from April to July 2013. Recorded with one bass, one acoustic guitar, one laptop, two amps, one Tascam Dr 140 Field Recorder.

credits

released August 12, 2013

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Chill Murray Fullerton, California

bedrooms. beer. porn. forever.

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